Attractions, not Distractions

Stand Up for Science Rally in Washington D.C.

I am a caring person and I take my personal responsibilities as a citizen (locally, nationally, globally) very seriously. I try to stay involved and informed. I vote in every election and I follow the news. But since the new administration took over this January, it has been pretty overwhelming. The cruelty, waste and wanton destruction in this administration is hard to fathom. They have done amazing amounts of damage in a very short time. Things I once took for granted--the constitution, our relationship with the rest of the world, our social safety net, citizenship and immigration, vaccines, veteran's care, scientific research, universities, national parks, history, language (to name just some)--are being destroyed before my eyes.  It feels like we are descending into a dystopian science fiction novel. It makes me feel sad and hopeless for the future, and some days I want to just turn off the news, curl up in a ball, and ignore it all. But I can't do that forever. So I pay attention. I write and call my representatives. I donate to causes I believe in. Last month I traveled to Washington D.C. with my husband to attend the Stand Up For Science rally. I plan to attend more rallies. But I still feel pretty overwhelmed. It makes my heart hurt. 

Lichen on a twig

So what's a person to do? How do you keep going with this constant onslaught of chaos and destruction? How do you re-charge? I've tried some of the distractions that we turned to during the this president's last administration, and the scary months of COVID shutdown. I've tried comfort eating, but then my clothes don't fit. Drinking away my sorrows works for a couple of hours, but then I wake up with a headache in the morning. Binge watching shows and movies helps me escape for a while, but when I turn off the TV and, nothing has changed.

Fading Hepatica flower next to green moss

I was thinking about a friend, Susan, who died many years ago. In her last days when I talked to her she told me that she was looking for Attractions, not Distractions. It took me a long time to appreciate what she meant by that, but I think I get it now, and I think that is what I need in this moment. I don't want to cover up or block out what is happening right now. I need to feel that. But I also need something that draws me and enriches and fills my hurting heart, something that can exist beyond this moment that I can tap into when I need it in the future. 

Ocean of Bloodroot leaves. The flowers must have been glorious a few weeks ago

One last Bloodroot blossom 

Nature does this for me. This weekend I walked in the Lake Herrick woods and after I was able to get my brain to turn off the inner commentary--about politics, litter, loud cars, drones over the lake, invasive plants--I started to connect again. I heard my own breath and the sound of my footsteps on the path. I heard birds song, saw wild flowers, noticed colors and shapes, smells and the greenness of spring. I spent 10 minutes or so watching a red-shouldered hawk that landed on a tree near the path. I think it was hunting for food for its mate that I heard calling from across the woods. It watched me as I slowly walked closer. It didn't fly away when I raised my camera. I walked on, and the hawk stayed put. The peace of that moment stays with me still. 

Red-shouldered Hawk encounter

Family. Friends. Pets. Music. Art. Service. Creativity. Love. These are all attractions that can give us strength for another day. And they build us up rather than covering up, or tearing down. Go find the Attractions. 

Journey in Place: Healing

Lake Herrick Memorial

It's been almost 2 weeks since Laken Riley, a young nursing student, was murdered in the woods a few blocks from my home in Athens, GA. After a little more than 24 hours of uncertainty and fear for public safety, the police announced that they had arrested a suspect and that there was no longer an immediate threat. It appears that the crime was a terrible, random act. Laken was a runner and was out on the trails in the woods where she often ran. She told a friend where she would be, and then she didn't come home when expected. It was just a random and needless tragedy. Grieving UGA students held a vigil early last week for her and for another student who had taken his life the day before. The community is still in pain. The crime has become an issue much bigger than Athens because it is believed that the suspect is an undocumented foreigner. In these highly charged times, immigration is a white hot topic and politicians have seized on it. I don't want to go much further into that here, but I have to say that it has been very distressing to see our local tragedy playing out in the national, and even international news over and over again and I find it to be opportunistic and exploitative. 

Bloodroot Meadow

When I wrote my last blog entry I was in shock. I was in mourning for the death of a joyful young woman, for her family and friends, and for our community's loss of its sense of safety. How could this happen in a place that I and just about everyone I knew considered to be safe space and a refuge? And how could such an awful thing happen in a park I had come to love, right in the spot I had been writing about for weeks in an exercise about exploring place? I wasn't sure at that time that I would ever be able to go back. I didn't know if I would be or feel safe, or how it would feel to be there knowing that a young woman's future had been violently snuffed out, right there. 

Round Leaf Hepatica

A number of friends who read my post commented, wisely, that the danger is always there, especially for women, but that we can't let this stop us from living and enjoying our lives. And I know this is true. Deep down I knew I would I would eventually get back to Lake Herrick and continue to hike and explore as I have done in the past. But this really shook everyone up, especially before a suspect had been charged with the crime. Several kind people offered to accompany anyone who felt unsafe on runs or bird walks, walking to the parking lots, etc. The University and the City of Athens are taking measures to improve safety, and I'm sure it will make some difference. Now, 2 weeks later, I am pretty sure I will feel ok walking alone, but I will take more precautions. My husband wants me to carry a whistle, and I won't go out owling at night or do early morning birding without someone with me. There are some remote places that in the past I have explored on my own. I will bring a buddy with me now. Not because things suddenly became unsafe, but because this murder reminds us of the ever present danger. The police may have arrested this particular man, but as long as there are other violent or desperate or mentally ill people out there to seize on an opportunity, they will do it. It sucks but it's reality. 

Trail Through the Flowers

Several readers commented about this "wounded place", a term I feel is especially appropriate for Lake Herrick. That's what this is to me now--a place that has absorbed trauma and sadness. It will take a long time to overcome that wounding. I was able to go back and walk the trails in the woods this week, first with my husband and later with a friend. Though the trails had re-opened days before, we were hesitant to go there too soon out of respect for the young woman's family and friends who were still in deep mourning. When we did go, the whole place was unusually quiet. We went during the first weekend of spring break and there were very few people around. It was peaceful and reverential. We felt a little apprehensive walking the trail so near where we think the violence occurred, in case we encountered some bit of police tape or tracks or some other evidence of what had occurred there. But we did not see any of that, and soon our hesitancy was replaced with appreciation for the blooming wildflowers and birdsong and a beautiful blue sky. My husband and I walked and smiled and even took a selfie in the bloodroot meadow. When we walked, my friend and I chatted about life and watched a turtle tromp down the creek to a dead end. It felt almost normal. But if I let my mind stray away from the nature and beauty, I immediately remembered where I was and what had happened there and it made me sad again. Nature is a wonderful healer, but it will take time. We won't forget but our community will heal. 

Bloodroot Blossom

SunningTurtles

The Long Hot Summer (Yeehaw!)

Every July about this time I find myself thankful for the heat of summer. Steam and heat aside, this is a great time to be in the yard. Our wildlife garden is almost at full peak, producing flowers and leafy shelter that attract the pollinators and the rest of the food web that I garden to provide habitat for. The swamp sunflowers in the front yard have grown tall, giving a quiet place for a baby deer to sleep while mom is out looking for food. The bushy Muhly grass, Mountain Mint and Black-eyed Susans are a refuge for fireflies that emerge in the evening. Tiny spiderlings set up their webs, hidden in the thickening greenery, where they hunt for prey that increases in size as they do. Caterpillars silently munch on plant parts, leaving specks of frass and chewed up leaves in their wake. Thrashers and Towhees scurry through the flower beds, grabbing caterpillars and spiders as they forage for spilled seed from the feeders. Mature vines and tube-shaped flowers are food for the hummingbirds. By July, at least one brood of newbies are out foraging for themselves. They visit the sugar water feeders, but they also spend a lot of time sucking out of flowers, especially the ones with long stems that they can sit on and rest between hovering and being chased off by older birds. Hovering is tiring.

This time of year, my glasses and camera lenses that are cool from the indoor A/C fog up immediately upon stepping out of the house or from a cool car. I can wipe the glasses, but have to wait for the camera to warm up because merely wiping the external glass is not enough. The camera will keep fogging up until the temperature has equalized. I've learned to keep my camera case in the back of the car, away from the A/C when I'm driving somewhere to take photos. I also take the camera out of its case right away when I get outside so it can start warming up, and sometimes face the glass into the sun to quick-start the process. 

Today I went out into the back yard just as it started to get hot, around 10am. The plan was to photograph some bees. My camera was cold, so I needed to give it time to acclimate, and so I walked over to one of the Black-eyed Susan patches in the yard to see what insects might be flying around. Before I knew it, an hour had passed and I had taken dozens of photos just with my phone. It's quickly becoming my go-to camera. They say that the best camera is the one you have with you. This one takes decent enough photos, and doesn't fog up! I never did pull out the other camera.

But the reason I spent an hour in the flower patch was that there was so much going on just on this single species of flower that I couldn't stop searching for more. As the morning warmed and the sun moved higher and brighter, the insects became more active, and new ones showed up. Butterflies, for example, were late arrivals. It was great fun and I had forgotten from last year just how much I love spending time crawling around in the flowers. I couldn't help but think that if there is this much life in a small flower patch, just imagine a prairie or a forest or a jungle. And this was just what I could see with my naked eye. So exciting--hello summer! 

Here are some images from my morning in the Rudbeckia as I waited for my other camera to thaw. 

Ant

Caterpillar

Sleepy Scoliid Wasp

Sleepy Leaf-cutter Bee

Leafhopper

Tiny Wasps

Planthopper Nymph

Some sort of Nectar Feeding Fly

Lacewing Egg (circled)

Ladybeetle

Carpenter-mimic Leafcutter Bee

Assassin Bug

Crab Spider

Stink Bug Nymphs

Red Cocklebur Weevil. They feed  "primarily on Asteraceae species, including sunflowers, ragweed, thistle, cocklebur, joe-pye weed, ironweed, and rosinweed"

Green Lynx Spider

Honey Bee

Not sure!

Small Leaf Cutter Bee

Fiery Skipper

Monarch Madness

Monarch Butterfly enjoying Swamp Milkweed (Asclepias incarnata) earlier this summer

I've been away a lot this summer, but I am happy to report that our garden is doing just fine without me. Luckily, I put in a few days of weeding and thinning in June, or the whole place would be a mad jungle, overgrown and covered with towering goldenrod and swamp sunflowers. Instead, it is a lush and thriving riot of colors, but with some boundaries! And so when I returned this week from yet another trip out of town, I was tickled to discover about 20 monarch caterpillars happily munching on the big Swamp Milkweed (Asclepias incarnata) in the front yard. It is common to see Monarchs here all summer, but the population really picks up in September and October as the butterflies make their way, usually above the treetops, to Mexico for winter. I believe that the caterpillars I'm seeing were from eggs laid one or two weeks ago. It appears that there are two batches on the bush--the big fat ones that are just about ready to pupate, and the ones about half their size that will be grown in about a week. I saw a female laying eggs yesterday and I hope that the ravenous hordes leave a few branches for the last generation.

Monarch caterpillars, madly munching

This is important to me because I love Monarchs. They're really pretty, and who doesn't admire their amazing migration story? And they're in danger. Monarch populations have decreased by about 90 percent from numbers recorded over 20 years ago. The causes are many--habitat destruction, pesticides, herbicides, and loss of their food source--milkweed, to name a few. It's exciting and uplifting to participate in the Monarch life cycle. Our yard is certified as a Butterfly Habitat and is a stop on the Rosalynn Carter Butterfly Trail. Monarchs will only lay their eggs on plants in the Milkweed family. There are many varieties specific to regions of the country. We plant native nectar and host plants for many kinds of butterflies and refrain from using herbicides or pesticides in the garden. The result is a healthy habitat for all sorts of creatures--butterflies, bees, wasps, birds, moths, spiders, etc.

Milkweed Bugs eat Milkweed Seeds

Aphids infest the milkweed every year. They drink the sap. I don't mind them, but if they bother you, you can squirt them off with a hose or just brush off with a paint brush. Pesticides will harm other insects, such as butterflies.

Great big Green Lynx spider and lots of aphids

Japanese Lady Beetle (aka Ladybug) and aphids

Milkweed Beetle eats the leaves

But the garden is not without its perils for the butterflies. Last night I walked past the milkweed bush again and flushed a bird that was probably hunting for caterpillars and bugs on the stems. A moment later I spotted the female Monarch that earlier I had watched lay eggs. She was caught in the jaws of an enormous Green Lynx spider perched on top of the milkweed bush. The spider had caught the butterfly and was eating it. I felt a temporary twinge of sadness for the butterfly, but then cheered for the spider who needed food for herself. Her huge abdomen was swollen, probably with eggs, and she needed nourishment, too. The butterfly had passed on her genes through her eggs, so she had fulfilled her biological destiny and was now part of the food chain. Whether those eggs will grow to adults and also pass on genes is a crap shoot. But this is why butterflies lay so many eggs, and why it is important for there to be milkweed patches all over for them to lay their eggs on. This morning I found that the spider had caught one of the caterpillars and was busily sucking it dry. Birds and wasps catch and eat them, too. Aphids are very attracted to milkweed. They are sap suckers, and sometimes they will harm or kill the plants. But the aphids attract ladybugs and their larvae that snack on aphids like popcorn. Milkweed Bugs make their home in the plants and eat the seeds, and Milkweed Beetles eat leaves. The 20 hungry Monarch caterpillars will strip the leaves off the bush within another week or so and may eat themselves out of house and home. All these beings are competing for the resources on these plants.

Green Lynx spider with Monarch for dinner

Something killed this caterpillar, and now it is food for the ants. The green blobs are caterpillar poop, also called "frass"

Green Lynx Spider with Monarch caterpillar for breakfast

New Monarch egg, with shadow of a ladybug larvae on the back of the leaf

Big, fat Monarch caterpillars quickly defoliate a milkweed plant

Some people who grow butterfly gardens will collect the eggs and grow the caterpillars to adults inside protective enclosures to keep them safe. I totally understand their care and concern, but as I told someone yesterday, I am more of a "free range" butterfly gardener. It makes me uncomfortable to make these creatures my captives. I feel much better about providing an opportunity for them to grow and thrive out in the world, but as part of a greater ecosystem. That's another aspect of the tragic loss of the massive Monarch population. They are part of an interdependent web of life. We all feel their loss. I encourage everyone who has an interest in helping the Monarch to try to plant native milkweed in their garden or even in a container garden on a deck. Do your part to help keep this iconic insect from disappearing. Go out and garden on!

The caterpillar doesn't seem to mind the aphids

Update: a few days later I went out to see if the Green Lynx spider had caught any more caterpillars and found that it was missing! In its place was a caterpillar, casually chewing on the leaves of the hunter's lair. I thought the spider must have become a meal for a hungry wasp or bird, an ironic turn in the in the circle of life. But then I saw some movement in the Blue Mist Flower bush next to the milkweed. The spider had simply moved to richer hunting grounds. Maybe she got tired of eating bitter Monarchs, but in any case, the milkweed is now packed with caterpillars and other insects of all shapes and sizes, safer for now. The egg I pictured above hatched and its tiny contents now roam the branches alongside of the aphids. And I spotted the first of what I imagine are many chrysalids hanging from a low tree sprout, far away from the caterpillars and things that hunt them. And so it goes...

Caterpillar chewing on the spider's lair

Happy spider

New hatchling, not much bigger than an aphid

A fresh chrysalis, hopefully one of many