It's The Small Stuff

Georgia Aster

You may or may not have noticed that I have not posted here for a long time. I have had a bad case of writer's block. I had lots of ideas, but found when it came to putting them down into words, I didn't have the spirit to do it. I have to admit that I've been struggling lately. I'm having a really hard time keeping positive. Between our toxic political situation, and the Covid-19 pandemic, everything feels pretty down and dark. Despite all my best intentions, I keep allowing myself to get sucked into doom spirals. I can't seem to stay away from it all. I know there is a solution for this--turn it off. And I want to do that, but I also believe in being an informed citizen. But it feels like the more I know, the worse I feel. It's a terrible and destructive cycle, and I'm complicit in my own misery. 

Cloudless Sulphur on Scarlet Sage (Salvia coccinea)

I took a trip out to my yard yesterday and brought my macro lens to hunt for butterflies to photograph, since it is peak butterfly season. I haven't used that lens for a long time. While I was outside, I started searching around to see if there were any spiders or mantises hidden in the the jungle of blooms and stems, and I looked at the asters and sunflowers from every angle. Before I knew it, an hour had passed and I realized I felt light and happy and relaxed. Just what the doctor ordered.

Leafcutter Bee Sleeping in a Camphorweed flower

I thought I felt good just because I was outside surrounded by nature, but I can see now that it is also because I gave my brain a break. While I was crawling around looking at the wondrous tiny things, that's all I was thinking about. It was so refreshing. When I'm on my knees looking at a bee sleeping on a flower, my brain is focused on that. I have to control my breathing so I don't wiggle too much and can capture the details in my photo. I can't move or I'll scare off the bee. And while I'm looking at that bee, I can see that its wings are a gorgeous amber color and that there are tiny hairs all over its body. And its eyes are so big! I realized yesterday that as much as I like just taking photos while I'm rambling down a trail, what I really love is the new perspective I get when I look close with the macro lens. Macro photography was my first photo love, and now I remember why. Looking through the lens at the tiny things takes my breath away and as I sink into their beauty, they are my whole world. At least for a while.

Green Anole with its blue green eye shadow

I read this article recently about taking "Awe Walks" and while I hate to admit that I might be getting old enough to fall into that demographic, I totally get the need to focus my mind on something that fills me with awe, and not on all the awful daily cares. So, when the world starts getting to me, I'm going to try pulling out the camera and start focusing on the small stuff. I may be doing that a lot in the next while.

Green Stinkbug Nymph