Searching for Feathers

"Hope" is the thing with feathers

-- Emily Dickinson

In our consciousness, there are many negative seeds and also many positive seeds. The practice is to avoid watering the negative seeds, and to identify and water the positive seeds every day.
--Thich Nhat Hanh

Cardinal watching me through the rain

I'm so very glad that it is finally 2018. 2017 was a spectacularly crappy year, for many reasons that I won't go into. Some were the obvious troubles that we're all faced with these days, and others were very personal, but it was definitely a year that I would like to put behind me. 2017 was a year of too many challenges. Sometimes I felt scared, sad or angry. There have been days and weeks where I was filled utter despair and anxiety, where the future seemed dark. But I believe that I am an optimist at heart and didn't want to succumb. I didn't want the negative things to drag me down with them. I tried various coping strategies for dealing with my feelings, with varying degrees of success. Not surprisingly, the best one so far has come from within. I made an attitude adjustment. I'm working to replace all that negativity around me by flooding my brain with the positive things. Rather than allowing myself to wallow in the "why me's", I've been trying to be thankful, to look for the good, and to appreciate the beauty around me. It's not easy, especially when I'm feeling down, but when I can actually pull this off it works really well. And when I need inspiration, I often turn to birds. Birds are easy. They're everywhere and yet each time I see them I find something new to appreciate and that turns my attention from my own brain and focuses it outward to the world.

Carolina Wren singing

Even in freezing cold, sweltering heat, or on a gray rainy day, I can look out my window and see these beautiful, interesting, and sometimes funny creatures moving around in the trees and shrubs.

White-throated Sparrow cocks his head

We have installed bird feeders all around the front and back yards and they are active year round. Usually it is just birds, but sometimes a lucky squirrel hurls itself from a bush and lands in the tray, and of course, there are always spilled seeds on the ground for the chipmunks (and our dog). Sometimes I will look out and see nothing but mourning doves or house finches, gobbling away in the feeders.

Doves, House Finches, Pine Warbler and Oriole all sharing a meal

Other days, great flocks of grackles descend on the yard, chasing the rest of the birds off of the seed and even away from the jelly that I leave out for orioles. In the spring, cooper's hawks come to hunt at the bird feeders. And it's all good. I love watching them all. Each one has its good points. I don't mind the responsibility of buying food, filling the feeders and keeping them clean, because it gives me the opportunity to watch these little feathered miracles up close.

Hermit Thrush in the driveway

The bright red on a Downy Woodpecker is always a thrill

House Finches are beautiful

Making an EBird report from the kitchen window takes my mind off of everything but watching the birds to complete my list. And after making these lists for several years now, I know which birds come and go with the seasons and wait in joyful anticipation for the return of the robins and waxwings, the juncos and sapsuckers, and the occasional rarity.

Long whiskers on a Pine Warbler

Unusual coloration on this Carolina Wren caught my eye

Ruby-crowned kinglet turns its head to find seeds

Last winter we "hosted" a rare rufous hummingbird and a trio of also rare orioles. It took a lot of work to keep the feeders full, thawed and clean through the winter so the hummer wouldn't starve. Knowing that he might return this year has given me much to look forward to. So far, no sign of the little guy, but his friends, the orioles, came back last week. When I hear their cackling calls and catch a glimpse of bright orange, it gives me a thrill and is just another reminder that life is good and that I am lucky indeed. I'm still hoping to see a rusty brown hummingbird blur zipping across the yard one of these days, and even though he hasn't shown up yet, just knowing there is a chance is good enough. So I'm searching for feathers--the beauty, goodness and joy in life--and watering those positive seeds, and I think it's working. I'm looking forward to a great year to come.

The vivid orange of a male Baltimore Oriole takes my breath away